Child, Adult, Parent….I can easily relate to all three. Depending on the time of day! But, holding onto a persona and the skills associated with these “stages” and relationships is something else. Mostly, I have practiced being a steadfast adult. I am still working on being a parent and on relating to being a child.
Being a child is movable – and this is framed by appropriateness. SO much going on all the time that patience is demanded and heeps of kindness for the emotional overload and inability to restrain in the face of injury and any stimulus.
As an adult, the emotional burden lies in the restraint and the constancy. In the ability make decisions and accept consequences.
As a parent, consistency is the key. And though the difference between constancy and consistency may throw some real wrinkles into the definitions, I have spent a long time on these two and the relationships inherent in being a parent vs “just being an adult.”
Self restraint is holy, must be practiced, and should not be expected of children the way it should be expected of adults. Adults that own the admonishing role are authorities, and if only those authorities worked as hard to listen like a parent! And if only parents worked hard to listen to their children before admonishing! And if only all children were given the constancy and consistency to learn to model well their place and capabilities in the world.
Truly, I love myself the most when I feel I am parenting. Parenting myself and parenting my students: present, listening, focused, patient, tolerant, accepting, coordinated, guided, full of humor and sparkle.